it’s okay to not ‘feel’ like it.
Sometimes you just don’t have it. The answers, the next steps, the what am I doing with my life right now… The FEELINGS, the energy… You just don’t have it, and no matter how hard to try to drum it up, you end up sinking deeper and deeper into these weird feelings. It’s exhausting, and like you’re already exhausted right? I know why you’re trying to force it… Because you think if you don’t do the things, know the answers, take the right step, commit to every single plan you made, follow through on the practices, teachings, whatever it is, that somehow you’ve already f*cked it all up. Not that you WILL, you’ve just decided somehow that these are the things that have to be done in order to achieve your dreams or being the woman you’ve always been meant to be.
Your future self… the self you spend most of your present day focusing on trying to be, well… She has off days too. She has days where she doesn’t know the answers, would rather run away and hide in bed for the day, full of self-doubts, asking herself what she’s even thinking, who she is to do that, beating herself up for once again not having it right and falling back into the same cycles.
I know, I get it. Everything in you is saying that you’re tired of never having the answers and always staying the same… and that’s where I need you to pause and be here with me, okay?
Be here, let these words sink in. Sometimes you just don’t have it… and that’s okay. Again, one more time… sometimes you just don’t have it… and that’s okay. (emphasis on that’s okay)
I have spent the last two years or so really facing my need for perfection and impossibly high demands from myself (that I would literally never ever expect of anyone else in this world), and learning how to work through it.
The thing is ALWAYS, literally always come back to?
Acceptance, and appreciation. Accepting that these feelings of not being motivated, frustrated with yourself, disappointed, feeling like you can’t have a minute to breathe, are okay. Knowing that are apart of the journey and because OF them, you get to live and thrive. Because of them, you get to know yourself on deeper and deeper levels, levels you never even imagined. You start to see yourself for the incredible woman you are. The resilient, incredible literal wonder woman who someone puts one foot in front of the other, no matter what. Even if that one foot in front of the other is just waking up for the day. Or making your bed, or whatever. Or maybe you really blow your own mind and hit everything you wanted to do that day. Either way…
“bad” feelings, feelings of not being the ‘it girl’, of comparison, insecurity, shame, disappointment, whatever it is…
Make you human. It does not mean anything about where you’re going, about who you are, what you’ve done — literally none of it matters. And when you can normalize those emotions instead of fearing them, fighting them… Things start to get easier and easier. You begin to accomplish more, enjoy yourself more, enjoy life more, because you’ve let go of the expectations. Of the made up rules that you placed on yourself to have a happy and fulfilled life. You’re allowed to be happy even while sad, or while bad things are taking place. You’re allowed to be content, you’re allowed to be angry…
There’s room for it all. Replace the “I have to or…” with “Oh, I feel this and that’s okay.”
Allow there to be room. Make space for yourself. Hold that space, allow yourself to open it up and just… be here, yes?
Sometimes you just don’t have it for the day, and that’s okay — release the pressure, and I’m willing to bet once you give yourself that permission to not have it… the essence of your magic is going to catch you off guard and amaze you.
Let’s talk about how to implement this:
Begin to learn about yourself — notice the feelings that usually hold you back, bring up certain thought patterns (I’m not good enough, why did I do that, etc) Notice what may or may not trigger them. Maybe you feel more down when it’s cloudy, or get hung up on perfectionism when you feel like you have to perform. Normalize your emotions… this is really important okay? Normalize, accept, and thank yourself. For all you have been up to this moment, who you are in this moment, and who you will continue to be. Because the woman you are now, encompassing expanse of several good and bad days has had your back and will continue to do so. You have you, you always have you, and you got here despite whatever you’ve thought about yourself or told yourself.
Observe, notice, and normalize.
It’s okay to not be okay, it’s okay to just be, it’s okay to not feel like it, okay?
Massive love.
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