routines for the confident woman
Babe…you were never meant to fit in.
If you have struggled your entire life with finding a life, habits, routines, practices that support you — you are not alone.
And there’s nothing wrong with you.
It can feel so defeating when time and time again you are consistently trying to better your life, implement things people say you should be doing, just to wake up and repeat the same cycle you promised yourself you would break.
It’s exhausting, it’s frustrating, and it really, really makes you feel insecure and like there’s something wrong with you.
Again…there’s nothing wrong with you.
The thing is…routines are meant to SUPPORT you in your life, and there’s no right or wrong way to do this. We’ve been sold on the opposite idea though.
In order to be successful, you HAVE to wake up at this time.
Start your day in this way.
Only eat this way.
Bad ass boss women are doing it like this, so you should be too and because you’re not, well that’s why your life isn’t the way you want it.
Ugh.
The thing is…
The status quo missed out on including women like you.
Women who are revolutionary, dreamers, who can’t be put into a box, who have no ceilings and are wildly creative, beautiful, passionate, and ever changing human beings.
Women who thrive on stability and certainty, while also keeping things fun, fresh and never the same.
Women who are inspired and immediately dive into their creative work or things that mean everything to them, which means…every day never looks the same.
And why would it? I mean honestly…do you TRULY want a solid routine everyday? Where every….single…day is predictable and exactly the same?
To the women who may be reading this who DO have those beautiful and consistent routines — I applaud you and am still envious of you in ways…please know this is not meant to make YOU feel bad. You are kicking ass and will continue to do so, and you are inspiring women like me who will never be that way lol. Truly — keep doing the damn thing.
The point is…
Confident + empowered women know life is meant to work FOR them instead of trying to fit themselves into a box someone else created.
When you start to taking time to actually get to know YOURSELF, and no longer outsource your own needs to others…life gets super magical.
Maybe the same routine each day brings you peace, joy, and nurtures your soul.
And maybe…it makes you want to die inside thinking about having to do the same thing every day (same, lol.)
When something makes you feel so bad, why do we continue to force ourselves into it?
The same goes for women who thrive on consistent structure — of course there’s space to let go and have fun, but if it truly nurtures your soul and heart…why would you do it any other way?
Life gets to work for you in the way you decide it gets to work for you. There is no other option, and there is no right or wrong way for this to occur.
Soooo…if you were to truly release the “supposed tos” and “shoulds” of how life should work…
What would you decide to have now?
How would life get to work for you?
What does your ideal day look like?
Most importantly…how do you want to feel?
How do you want to feel when you wake up? Throughout the day? When you get home? When you go to sleep?
What. Do. You. Want?
There’s always a place for structure, for me anyways — maybe not for you. That’s again…the point.
It does not have to look like any one way or work the same for everyone.
As someone who has struggled with routine for…ever, here are things I’ve learned that have allowed me to truly create a life I love and that works for me.
Get to know yourself.
First thing is first…what works for you? What do you love, what do you hate? Spend time really getting to know yourself — imagine you are dating yourself, or getting to know a new friend, new roomie, whatever works…start to get to know YOU. Know the details, the ins-and-outs, why you operate the way you do, what moves you and why.
Take care of your future self (AM self, afternoon self, PM self, whatever).
As you get to know yourself, learn what will make life easier for you. If you hate the mornings and will never be a morning person…what can you do at night to set yourself up for success? Take the thinking out of it, no matter how small it is. If you have to workout after work but struggle doing so and it’s your only option? What could help you feel supported here? Perhaps taking a gym bag with you to work, having your clothes/water bottle, headphones, and routine set out? Or maybe not making yourself do workouts you hate and going for a walk instead? Do you love having a clean home to walk into or wake up to? What helps you feel your best?
Create routines based on your energy.
If you are not a morning person, why put things that require a ton of energy from you in the morning? (If you don’t have to…personally, I am no longer a morning workout person but at certain points in life I had to be, and that’s ok, because it supported me throughout the day. When I don’t have to be, it supports me more to workout mid-morning or at night.)
If you are a morning person and thrive on being creative in that time, or perhaps getting your space clean, why save that for after work when you’re tired and just ready to unwind and relax?
Where do you feel the most energy in your day, and how can you shift things to help you feel supported there? (You can even apply this to your work day sometimes — more mentally challenging tasks when you have the most energy, low-energy tasks later, etc. I know it’s not always possible, just throwing it out there as an example.)
Release the stress.
Allow yourself to be free from expectations of others, and dive to your inner self to find what feels most improtant to you. It’s easy to get caught up in to-do lists and taking care of others…but what feels most important to you each day?
For me personally I found it was the things taking away my own self-confidence by not having accomplished them….like skipping my workout again, not spending spiritual time with myself, or working on things that moved me and felt good.
What priorites do you find yourself often putting on the back burner? What helps you feel good that you can base your day on and will help you feel successful no matter what?
You have to get honest with yourself.
It’s easy to focus on feeling good and decide that you’re skipping something because it helps you feel your best. There are times that’s true and often needed…however, you KNOW when it’s not and when you are just lying to yourself. When you’d rather lie and avoid the discomfort of being honest. What really clicked for me with alignment is when I heard the word described as doing things even when we may not want to do them because it helps us move towards our goals or living as our best selves — it’s integrity with ourselves and our souls.
Where may you not be being honest with yourself?
What actions are not aligned with where you want to go or who you truly are/want to be?
When things aren’t going well.
Those days, weeks, seasons of life when nothing seems to be going right and you just can’t seem to catch a break? Where you wish life had a pause button and you could just take a minute to just stop and recollect?
What do you do?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing — sometimes when things are going crazy, instead of doing more, we need to simply take a moment to pause…breathe, and just BE.
Accept how you feel and how things are. Go on a feelings rampage and accept how things are — be angry, sad, frustrated, annoyed — let it all out.
And…vow to be kind to yourself. Be compassionate, know that it’s okay that things aren’t going accordingly and ask yourself what you need. Do you need rest? More food? Maybe setting aside a day to do absolutely nothing? Asking for help?
What do you NEED? And…allow yourself to be supported.
Know you are good enough to receive without having to do, say, think, or be anything other than you.
Put It All Together.
This seems to be the point where I give you a step by step guide to create your perfect day right? Mmm, yeah, it seems like it should be, but…it’s not.
I can’t tell you the exact steps to take, because that’s assuming that you are not an empowered woman who knows exactly what she wants and wants to do.
What I can do is this: Encourage you to start with step one of getting to know yourself. Really dive deep into how you want to feel and what is important to you and WHY. Do you want a lot of structure? Do you need more freedom? Do you need to set aside time for fun? Could it be helpful to set a gentle boundary in place with yourself to have something done by x time?
What felt like an exhale going through this for you?
What feels like the best place to start? If you feel overwhelmed…I get that. Take a deep breath and exale…what seems to be draining your energy the most right now? Perhaps it’s never getting up on time, so maybe your first step is to instead just focus on being in bed by a certain time (not even asleep, literally just being in bed lol.)
You are a unique woman, with needs, powers, and ambitions different from anyone else. Watch the videos that inspire you, and ask yourself:
How can I make this work for me?
That’s such a powerful question, I’m going to repeat it:
How can you make this work for YOU?
If you love the idea of meditating in the morning, but also are super sleepy and not into it when you wake up…could you maybe shift it to just before you get out of bed when you’re more awake? Perhaps after your shower?
Have fun. Get creative. Experiemnt. Try all the things, and listen to yourself.
When you build a routine and life that supports you, you are nurturing your soul, and ultimately, your confidence.
Being empowered is knowing yourself — the ins, the outs, and creating a life that allows you to embrace that.
If you loved this, you can find more in my new e-book: Routines for the Confident Woman, now available on Amazon.
Let me know what you think and what resonated the most!
XOXO, Blake.
