You are not — there is a place for you in this world. ❤
Hi loves. My name is Blake and I am a woman who follows her heart. I tend to start a lot of things, try a lot of things, and never truly know what I want. (that’s actually a lie I’ve been telling myself I recently discovered — I have always known what I want, I just let others tell me I needed to be clearer lol). I can never and will never be able to tell you how things will work out, but I have somehow always known they just WILL.
I’m a day dreamer and a woman that believes in the power of imagination — that we all have this magic and the best thing I can think to describe it is child-like, which is exciting for some and makes others roll their eyes.
And for the longest time, I allowed the ones that rolled their eyes to rule my life. The dreams I’ve always set out on, the times I’ve quit jobs when it didn’t make sense, made moves that didn’t make sense to anyone except my heart…I still felt the second-guessing of the ‘real world’ around me.
Forever asking myself if it was simply time to grow up? And yet no matter how hard I tried, I could never quite conform. There was a light within me that simply refused to be ignored.
One day as I was working away at a job where I had plenty of growth ahead of me, had promoted early and was looking at another early promotion, I remember pausing and looking around the room. I saw the people who had been here for years, one even celebrating decades of work there. I saw the humans who like me, were just getting started, and others somewhere in the middle. I had been contemplating back and forth whether this was my path. I explored the opportunities, waiting for a department that ‘clicked’ and made sense for me. I thought the responsible thing to do was to swallow the urge to quit and live a life I dreamed of, and commit to this adult path of promoting, buying the house, building the 401k, and more.
So…I tried to see myself committing to this for five years.
There are no words to describe the immediate resistance that I felt in my body. Have you ever watched a horse refuse a jump? That’s very much how it felt.
And in that moment…I just knew.
So after that, we expect that I went on to live my full dream life and never doubt myself again, yes? From the self-proclaimed confidence queen?
Lol, absolutely not. The doubts never went away, and that ONE question never left — when would it be time to grow up and accept the life I had been told was meant to be?
While the doubts never exactly went away…they became a lot quieter, and much easier to move through. Before that though…
I have started and stopped more times than I can count. I have told myself it’s because I’m undisciplined, lazy, that things aren’t meant to be, I’m not good enough.
I’ve spent literally thousands of dollars on courses, certifications, and pursuing my own education and learning in order to ‘be’ like everyone else, to finally make it.
And…I know if you’re reading this, you have too. You have been caught in the middle of this world where it seems like you almost find your place, and then realize you still feel like you don’t belong.
You want life to work for you and you’re just not sure HOW to make it work for you, and when you try to make it all happen, you end up overwhelmed and avoiding it, then talking yourself off a ledge and like bullying yourself into action where you take a lot of steps really fast, just to feel exhausted and like ‘WTF just happened?’
And…the cycle continues. Motivated, inspired, overwhelmed, take a lot of action, exhausted, start to criticize yourself, avoid and disappear, then repeat.
Let’s take a minute to pause…let’s…go back.
Let’s go back to the time where there wasn’t any pressure for this to all….work.
When there wasn’t pressure to figure it out all.
To be your higher self.
To have the spiritual practices, be the queen of manifesting.
To be THE woman.
To have THE course, THE launch.
THE content that spoke to the hearts of millions.
To buy all of the books just so you could be ‘ready’, so you could be ‘enough.’
Let’s go back way before all of that….
What did THAT feel like?
What did your soul crave, what was it yearning for?
What daydreams did you find yourself lost in when you were sitting at your desk, or commuting to work?
When you were sitting in class at college, or trying to get by on the low pay at the sh*tty job?
There was a feeling that called to you — a world that felt bright, exciting, like an exhale…
A world that you believed in and the core of you KNEW was meant to be yours.
What woman did you see living that life? What life was she living?
What was the THING that called you?
Can you go back to that?
Can you allow yourself to relax back into that? As if you were falling into the ocean with complete trust and allowing the water to rush over you, fully consume you so you could get lost back into the dreams that started it all?
Burying our light with self-doubts and fears is normal, it happens…and so does burying our soul with personal development and the need to ‘be’ something, thinking as if we aren’t already THAT something.
What if you were to let all of that go and return to THE feeling?
How does that feel? Like…everything just melted away? A sense of clarity?
Almost like a pause in time where you look around and ask yourself…what am I even doing? The entire point was…to have fun. To create a life I loved…not a life where I was spinning my wheels trying to be everything but who I am, trying to build a life I loved when it was actually a life others’ told me I would love.
When did we lose ourselves to this freedom, this craving for a life that felt expansive and supported? When did we become so…constricted?
So mistrusting of the callings that led us here today?
What was the INTENTION that started all of this in the first place?
For me personally…it was to have fun. It was knowing there was a life where I could wake up happy and at peace each day, wake up to a life I loved….
doing WHAT I loved.
What is that for you?
What would it feel like to connect back to that?
I know if I went back and told the version of myself that sat at that desk, asking herself if she could do this for even five years how I was feeling now…
First off, she’d be really f*cking proud of everything I’ve done and even MIND BLOWN. She’d be like ‘Damn, you really did it! You’ve been doing it!!’
And…she’d also probably be like ‘But wait…if you’re waking up feeling stressed, behind, constricted…isn’t that what drove you to take the leap of faith in the first place?’
She’d be right.
Here’s the thing:
Every single step, every breath, every moment, you have taken and lived up until this very moment was perfect.
It has always and will always be the right decision — you always make the right decisions. Because that’s imply who you are, a powerful f*cking woman.
And now, you get to keep making the right decisions…
The decisions to re-connect to yourself.
To remove the stones and watch the light shine through…
The light that is YOU. Your soul. Your heart. Your truth.
The daydreamer, the woman who makes the unrealistic, realistic and just her reality.
Who seems crazily positive to those around her and yet, somehow life has always worked out.
The woman who always has fun, sees the good in others, the joy in life.
And somehow lost that joy in herself.
Which is more than okay.
You’ve always been enough. You have always had the answers. You have always made the right calls. I need you to know, understand, and accept this fully now. I need you to feel like ‘Ugh, YES, she’s right!!! I have done it all and I have always been enough. And now…it’s time to reconnect to me. I miss me — I miss the fun, the joy, the playfulness of it all, the excitement of seeing myself building a life I love.’
You’ve always had it.
You’ve always been it.
How would it feel to reconnect to her and become one again? The simply melt into the light, be grounded in the truth of your soul and have FUN again?
To know everything else is optional and that you get to follow your heart?
No more should’s, no more could’s, no more ‘rules’.
Just…you.
Bringing what’s been hidden, back to light?
You’re not lost, you’ve never been lost, and you’ve always ‘fit’. You’ve always had a place in this world.
Trust in that, and in you, okay?
Okay. I love you.
XOXO, Blake.
