the mirror practice. (part two)

One day as I was doing my makeup and getting ready for the day, I took a long look at myself and made eye contact with my reflection…

And this was hard. It’s not something I had ever done or when I did do it, it was usually out of insecurity, criticism, or even self-hatred.

I made eye contact and audibly said the words “I love you.”

That was hard.

You know what was even harder?

Trying to voice my normal thoughts/self-criticism out loud to myself while looking directly at myself.

The thing is, when you look in the mirror and make eye contact, you no longer get to disassociate — you see you for what you are…a human who is just doing her best and trying to make it through the world.

And when you take a good long look at this human, all that she is wonderfully, all that she has overcome, all that she’s faced, the features she has that others love and she still doesn’t, her essence, her spirit…

She’s human. She is just as worthy as every human on the planet, and she deserves the world and more.

You deserve the world and more. Speaking harshly to ourselves is easy to do when we aren’t looking directly at ourselves — think about how much easier it is to text someone something or even people on the internet who are so brave and bold to say harsh things.

Saying it to your own face, your own soul…it humanizes you. And maybe it feels like you believe it at first, but for me personally, it softened me.

This woman staring back at me, back at you, she deserves kindness, especially her own.

Soft words, gentle words, uplifting words, encouragement, space to feel what she needed to, reassurance — all of the things she sought outside of herself, is what she needed from herself all along.

There is of course, always a time and place for support outside of yourself — that’s what support IS. Sometimes we need that.

But also…you are your own greatest support system. You know what you’ve been through, you know your heart, you know your intentions — you know the things you’re ashamed of and want forgiveness for…you know you the best.

Looking at myself in the mirror completely and having this “talk” completely changed how I viewed myself.

Eventually, it became a routine to look in the mirror and hype myself up. It went from “Ugh I look like this” to “Damn girl, you look gooooood. Look at you, living your life, doing the damn thing, making your money, trying your best.”

And some days, it simply looks like “I know today sucked and that you feel this way about yourself, but you tried your best and it’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with you.”

It became a natural extension of my day, and it’s not something I really have to think about.

The mirror has become grounding, it’s become a way to truly see myself for all that I am. To heal, to cry, to feel what I need to, and to remind myself who TF I am and more.

If I believe every soul that comes forth on this Earth is worthy simply for existing, what was stopping me from believing that about myself?

What would it feel like for you to choose you are enough and to relax into that truth?

The thing is, when you look in the mirror and make eye contact, you no longer get to disassociate — you see you for what you are…a human who is just doing her best and trying to make it through the world.

Part 3 will be available Thursday at 10 a.m. EST.

part one: the story of not being enough.